Kill’em With Kindness!
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I don’t get too many support tickets on my support desk. I like to think I do a great job for my customers, but the truth is, I have a great web host who has created a ton of great tools for those of us who use his service, and I never have any problems (or seldom anyway).
The other day I got a support ticket from a customer who couldn’t find the page to a link in one of my ebooks I had sold him.
For whatever reason, he was particularly nasty, telling me my sites were ugly, that he didn’t want to be on my list so I could spam him, and on down the list.
The whole thing made me really mad. I can sometimes understand when someone gets nasty with you if you’ve been nasty to him/her, but I had never met this guy. Never had any contact with him. So, I was somewhat surprised that he just let me have it for no apparent reason other than he is just a particularly nasty person.
I don’t know. Doesn’t matter. I will probably never have any contact with this guy again. It’s not because I said anything nasty to him either. My guess is that he really didn’t know what to say back to what I said to him.
In the old days, before I really found Christ, and I really started to understand His teachings, I would have unloaded on this guy. It was BS. No excuse for his behavior.
However, a lot has changed. I have learned that when you learn to master your temper, you will learn how to master the world. The reason so many people are under so much stress today is they don’t learn how to master their behavior. They think they can just do whatever they want, treat others the way they want, and there’s no penalty.
Well there is a penalty. Being nasty all the time will raise your blood pressure. It will eventually affect your health if you engage in it enough, and you’ll die a whole lot younger than you’re supposed to because your body can only take so much stress.
I counted to 10. I decided to wait until I had cooled off before I answered this guy back. I refuse to be nasty like that. I had rather let it go.
I don’t let people like that “rent space in my head.” They’re not worth it.
(A good way to count to to 10 is to say the first 10 words of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.” Say your favorite Bible verse. It will have the same effect.)
I answered him back in a reasonable amount of time. I explained why some of my web pages are coded the way they are: because my payment processor requires it be done that way. I told him he wasn’t on my lists, thanked him for his purchase, and let him know that if he had any further questions, just reopen the ticket.
I haven’t heard a word from this guy.
The Bible tells us that “a soft answer turneth away wrath.” (Proverbs 15:1-3Proverbs 15:1-3
English: King James Version (1611) - KJV
15
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. poureth: Heb. belcheth, or, bubbleth
3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
WP-Bible plugin).
It’s very hard to do though. Admit it. When someone is nasty to you, even if he/she deserves it, you want to be nasty back. Don’t. You’ll pay for it later.
You’ll feed bad about yourself, you’ll unecessarily stress your health, and you’ll end up apologizing. If you avoid the nastiness all together, then you avoid all of the unpleasantness that goes with it.
The Bible tells us to:
Ephesians 5:1-2Ephesians 5:1-2
English: King James Version (1611) - KJV
5 1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
WP-Bible plugin1Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Jesus wouldn’t allow someone like that to get Him upset, especially over nothing. Neither should I, and neither should you.
The more I try to imitate Christ, even when I fail, the better I feel. The better my life gets, and the easier it is to overcome my obstacles.
The same will happen to you.
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